So glad the 4 Amigos had this conversation…..

The 4 Amigos

I really thought I was alone in my thoughts about the loss of sparkle I experienced at Christmas….turns out I wasn’t….

The 4 Amigos this week spoke about the guilt, the sadness and difficulty enjoying the company of those we love….or simply meet in the street…..how many others experienced this and fely the same as we did but had no one to tell…..?

Listen to our ramblings below…..

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

11 thoughts on “So glad the 4 Amigos had this conversation…..”

  1. This video about the challenges of Christmas and being around people was so helpful to me as I have a sister who is struggling with memory. I will be sharing this with all my family! THANK YOU for being vulnerable and talking openly about life with dementia. Hugs to all of you! I wish I could meet you in person and just sit with you!

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  2. Good to see you and your Amigos Wendy.
    I am so happy to hear if the benefits of meeting with your peers and also that the wording spreading so that others maybe aware for “Dementia”.
    Nobody wants a “label”. But knowledge is good.
    Saddened to hear how you all felt over the Christmas festivities. Keep spreading the word 😊

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  3. So good to be with you all again. Hope you are staying well and safe – feels like we’re back to square one right now. I’m familiar with the aspect of conversation you talked about today. I would say I like George’s thought about sitting down with those close to you and talking about what it really feels like to be you sometimes. There’s too much silence in a dementia home and it makes it hard for everyone, not just the person with dementia. The more everyone can understand what’s happening, the better you can all deal with it. Just my thoughts!

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  4. So good to hear your stories Wendy – thank you for sharing this. Can’t help thinking George had a great idea in suggesting he sit his family down and tell them what he’s going through. How else are they going to know…? We’ve all learned SO much because you have shared so much. So important. Now and again I nudge my Mum into opening up a bit more, and it’s always a revelation, and always so helpful. Go for it , George! It’ll help them hugely.

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  5. I have felt like this for many years now – and I haven’t got dementia! I used to think it was because it starts so early that by December it’s lost any excitement – but I’m not sure it is that. Perhaps the weather which is often not ‘Christmassy’ doesn’t help? But it is such a big hype and pressure leading up to it then when it comes it feels flat and as you say has lost it’s sparkle. I always feel such a misery for having these feelings and I want to and try to enjoy it by choosing nice gifts and going to seasonal events etc . But I’m always very relieved when the day is over. Dementia brings another aspect to it by the feelings of being overwhelmed and the guilt of not enjoying what people have put such a lot of effort into . I am very aware of that as a carer to my mum. Your honest conversation ( and George’s excellent blog) has really helped me to understand. Thank you all and let’s be grateful it’s only once a year xx

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  6. I’m so glad you had this conversation, too. I’m learning so much from you and the other 3 amigos. I love these videos. I do wonder how much the general lack of excitement over Christmas may be due to the changes brought by covid – which seems never-ending? You all touched on more than that though – George’s desire to address the “elephant in the room” with his children, the anxiety of the expectation of conversation with passersby. Thank you so much for educating people like me (halfway across the world in Minnesota)!

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  7. Any chance someone extremely clever could put the review of your new book, which appeared in the Sunday Times 16th January, on your blog ???????
    Hate to have missed it, and reports say worth reading !!

    Much love as always Veronica and Christopher xxxx

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  8. Thank you for sharing this. I felt so sad that you have to go through these things because the general public doesn’t understand the necessity of listening, and giving everyone time! Sometimes it is helpful to prompt with a work or whatever, but never to put someone down, with dementia or not!

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