Sometimes we have to admit we need help….but it’s so hard, after all I’m not physically disabled. It’s just my brain and body won’t always co-operate.
In days gone by I would have done everything possible myself. All my decorating, all my gardening, tiling, skirting, dado rails, all myself. If I didn’t know how to do it I would get a book, ask a friend to show me how, or in more recent times, watch a YouTube video…..anything to avoid having to get someone into my house.
In the early days, it was a financial necessity, later on it was pride in the fact I could do it better myself….
But now since dementia is often ruling the roost and decision making, I’m having to bit by bit, relinquish that independence….and it’s hard.
Sometimes we all hand over jobs to people, simply because we can, maybe we don’t have the time, maybe it’s simply easier, but when that decision is taken out of your hands, it’s difficult to admit you no longer could if you wished….
Soon after I moved into my village home I realised I’d made a bad decision on so many counts. But me and my daughters didn’t realise at the time that I simply wasn’t capable of making good decisions any more; choosing this house was one of them, choosing it on the basis of the large window overlooking the paddock….
The 2 gardens aren’t massive, but they’re really too big for me to manage. I only trust myself to use the tiny Hedge trimmer
And I could manage the little hedges I had using that, bit by bit I’d get there. But then ladders and balance started not to mix…..that became sad, as it cancels out so many things…but Stuart would happily do the top of the hedge when he had time. But then one day I’m sat in my sun room, looking out at the overgrown hedges and think, I can’t do that anymore….that dreaded ‘can’t’ word……😔
But I’d admitted it. I immediately went onto the village facebook page before I could change my mind and asked if anyone knew a nice trust worthy person who could come and do it for me….
Replies were slow to come for this request, as most people did their own 🙄…then slowly but surely they started to come in and one person stood out from the rest from the comments. I asked Gemma to ring him for me. I would normally have gone for a female but this man had such nice comments about him, it felt right…..
So last week, he turned up. My instinct was right. Such a kind gentle smiley person. He did a wonderful job. It was obvious he loved trees, he loved gardens and he loved growing things. It would have taken me several days whereas it took him 2 hours. He even brought a dust pan and brush to tidy up any mess and took everything away with him.
I’d apologised when he arrived for not being able to offer him a cuppa tea or coffee. My taste for tea having changed so much, I don’t have milk in the house now or sugar. But he was quite happy, he’d brought his own flask. No tuts, no comments, he simply understood ..
During a 2 minute break I told him what a good job he was going and we began to chat. He told me he had an allotment in our village…😳…I never knew our village had an allottment!….how come I hadn’t seen it….?
“Ah it’s hidden away not far from where we’re standing, just down the road”
Well, that would be my next task, to find this paradise that’s hidden away……more on that discovery tomorrow..
As he finished he asked me if there was anything he’d missed. I’d sat in the sunroom and often thought that a branch was in the way of me seeing the birds when they land on my shed, so he chopped that for me with a smile…and sure enough, soon after there was the piccie I couldn’t get before
As he left, I was glad I’d found such a nice person and relinquishing that task had been made easier by his kindness…
Not long after I could hear my neighbours. Both wives persuading their husbands to tidy up their side now 🤣……