My first walk alone……

Once again, written at the beginning of the week…

It’s shocked me how my confidence has dropped since the fall. I’ve found I’m forcing myself to go out to keep that routine up, but there was something else niggling away inside me and it was the lack of confidence to walk outside😳. .

So, once it dawned on me, I spent the next hour getting ready 🙄…and made myself go out for a walk on my own. I actually, for once, didnt feel like it, but felt I must. I hadn’t realised how exhausting it was to get ready, with just one arm to help. I can see how people give up and just stay in and then find it difficult to go out again. I just had to force myself. Finally, my coat zip done up and I had to sit on the stairs, just to get some energy back in me….

I thought of the perfect place – the pond to feed the ducks…..

It wasn’t icy, I told myself, so what’s the problem? But I found myself watching the floor so carefully for hidden dangers that weren’t there. 🙈…I suppose its natural, but its blummin’ annoying.

Anyway, 10 minutes later when I’d locked the door, secured the bag of seed over my stick, I was off. The fact that I fell hard on my bum, means my coccyx is still very painful, so I’m walking slower anyway, which is probably good. Today, the ducks would have to come to me though. I normally stand on the wooden walkway and throw the food with one hand and camera in the other, but today I’d been sitting in the shelter….

As I approached the duck pond, they must have seen my yellow coat, as they quacked their signals to each other that Wendy or rather, food, was on its way. The Muscovys have also taken to flying over. They usually sit on the fence and get fed, but today they’d have to take what they can find 🤣

Within seconds of sitting down I was surrounded by ducks 😍 very noisy, quacking ducks 😂

There were a few, still in disbelief that they had to come ashore today for their food, but most flew up to get their share

It was obviously far too much of a scrum for the mandarins to come ashore 

So I threw what I could towards the water just for them

People, out walking in the village, stopped and took photos of them all scattered around me. And once id emptied my bag, I too just sat and watched my feathered friends

All hoovering up every last morsel they could find. We had a famous Olympic long jumper who was from the village, and just where I was sat, there’s a memorial to her on the path representing the length of her jump, the words ‘start’ and ‘finish’ denoting the length.

One duck had placed himself next to the finish, which made me chuckle as he ate no more

One even ventured right between my feet to hoover up any stray seeds

I was so glad I forced myself to come out, as the ducks raised my spirits no end, so much so, that I decided to continue my trundle. 

Once no seeds remained, it was as if I’d never fed them 🤣…some followed me across the wooden pathway, others flew back to meet me at the other end. The Muscovys, who Ive named Madge and Mabel, flew onto the fence in the hope I had more food

…I crossed the road, went through the houses and on the corner saw a flash of red fly in front of me. I propped my stick against the hedge and scanned the trees…there it was

Just what I needed to see

I stood for several minutes, watching and clicking as it posed this way and that

Before blowing it a kiss and heading off passed the playing field and along the back lane.

It felt as if nothing had changed, such a comforting thought…as a squirrel stopped his crossing of a fence, on his way to, who knows where…just so I could take a photo

That was enough for today. My solo walk accomplished with nature providing the comfort I needed….

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

20 thoughts on “My first walk alone……

  1. Completely normal Wendy to feel so shaken by such a bad fall, but well done for forcing yourself out. And such a nice walk too! You captured some quite special photos from your very cooperative bird and squirrel friends! Enjoy many more happy trundles, and I do hope you feel much better soon. x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well done Wendy for getting out there. No mean feat. I’m the one who fell and broke my wrist back in September. Comforting to hear that I wasn’t the only one to lose my confidence in walking. I usually stride along but as I didn’t see a “reason” for my fall it made me anxious to stride off again and like you I walk everyday. It will get better. Day at a time or step at a time 😊
    And the photos. Had to chuckle at the scramble the ducks had to get to the seed. Take care xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What a trooper you are Wendy, grit and determination by the barrow load. So happy for you that you did it and that it was worth every painful step to be met by the ducks and that robin especially. Well done you and do hope you hear very soon that you’re booked in for that op.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You’re amazing, Wendy. I broke my wrist in August and I had exactly the same feeling about walking outside to start with. I’m so glad you made it! Going outside really helped me (and physiotherapy – keep those fingers moving in the cast if you can!) I hope your surgery happens soon and your recovery is speedy.

    Liked by 1 person

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