I watched Sylvia’s funeral on line again, without the pressure of being there and it was more beautiful than I remembered. I was able to be a bystander, watching from the wings. Although I wouldn’t have missed being there for the world, it was hard to take it all in. So much more to think about, where to sit, trying so hard to remember all the names of all the people and failing miserably.
I txt David afterwards to tell him how even more beautiful it was watching it again in silence. He replied saying he was picking up her ashes that day, some to be used for rings, the rest, and here was the surprise, the rest to be scattered on Derwentwater in my paradise of Keswick; the place she introduced me to many years ago.
I was overwhelmed with joy as that is also where part of my ashes will be placed. He also posted a video of her on the beach at Fraisthorpe, where she went on her last visit to me and where Sarah often takes me. On the video she was talking and I kept playing it over and over again just to hear her voice – never forget to record your voice as it provided even more comfort than a photo.
That night another wonderful dream entered my night. I was there with Sarah and David was there with Amanda and Tosca. Me and David were sat in my favourite spot on my favourite bench at Friars Cragg.
Robins are very territorial and will fight for their territory and will die without it. However at Friars Cragg, the Robins there have different rules and live happily side by side, enabling smaller territories for them all to live together. So many souls of those long gone living around that very spot, together. So many ashes spread just like mine will be. The Robins here, if you look carefully, have a huge community. I’ve seen them all around Derwentwater but no more so than at this spot.
So. going back to my dream. Me and David on the bench and Sarah videoing our conversation; Tosca and Amanda watching on beside us. I held out my hand, a few grains of seed and suet and we waited. Then, as I knew would happen, this slim elegant Robin appeared and landed on my hand and ate a tiny seed, our gaze holding the moment…..before she pooed on my hand, signalling Sylvias presence as I’d asked of her.
I told David to put a piece of the suet between his lips and the Robin flew up and kissed it out of his lips. She then flew to the branch and sat there watching us all. Being greedy for more contact, we held out the seed but the Robin refused any more of our offering.
That proved even more that this Robin was Sylvia as she would never want to become a fat round Robin….always the elegant slim Sylvia…….
I woke all excited believing it to be real. In my dream Sarah had taken photos of the moment from the video she made and I was all for sending them to David, Amanda and Tosca. But as I looked through my ipad for the evidence I realised it was in fact only a dream, but how wonderful it was…..and you never know, one day it may happen, maybe not in that way, but I know I will see the new Robin at Friars Cragg…