Two BBC films side by side – and the new way of talking…

Gosh, this year couldn’t have been any different could it? Last year I’d promised myself I would talk to different groups of people, widen my awareness raising. I adored walking into an event, no one knowing me, people ignoring this faceless person or scrutinising my every move, unsure whether to approach me or not. Obviously the person who’d ask me would settle me down, get me a cuppa, make sure I was ok. But then once I’d spoken, the room immediately became a friendlier place. People smiling, coming up to speak. I loved to see that transition in their minds eye of someone with dementia before I spoke and then afterwards. 

But all that has gone. Apart from, I’m still being selective in the groups I speak to, but this time via the barrier of zoom. The ones I can remember are the lovely North West Women’s Institutes, Essex Social Workers who were willing to listen and learn, an Investment Company where Sally Magnuson interviewed me and I imagine many more long forgotten.

But there was so much missing. The atmosphere, the anticipation, the journey but the one thing that saddens me most each time is the ending. Yes people are kind in their thanks but then what? No conversations, no smiley faces, no cuppa teas. Just a blank screen devoid of all human contact. I tell myself it’s all we’ve got at the moment so carry on because there’s no other way. And of course I can’t type the detail as I’m on screen on my ipad. The detail of each lost.

I think one of my favourites of late, apart from the ones being with playmates, has to be one I gave to my favourite species – students. This time Covid worked in my favour, as they were Canadian students, so zoom had allowed me to speak across the waters. Cathy Farrow is a Twitteroo like me and asked if she could email me. I hadn’t noticed she was a lecturer in Canada so was delighted when she asked me to speak to her class of Health Care staff who would be going out into Care Homes and people homes to provide care, many of whom would have dementia. She’d seen the film me, Keith Oliver, Veronica and Christopher Devas had made back in 2015 for the BBC and had regularly shown it to students. What she hadn’t realised, was that we made an update on our change 3 years later. So I was able to send her that copy too. Obviously these are now out of date but the first allows you to see when when first diagnosed and still working. Then 2 or 3 years later the more hesitant me in my new home. The zoom went to plan but once again , the silence at the end was deafening…

Anyway,  it’s these I thought I’d share again today. I know I’ve shared them before but as proved above, not everyone had seen them……The first being from 2015 and the second link from 2018….

And the second…

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

18 thoughts on “Two BBC films side by side – and the new way of talking…

  1. This reminder is so poignant Wendy and Christopher reminds me of my late husband…he forgot who I was. But it’s also very useful as I’m a Dementia Friend now so the clips put me back in touch with the way people living with dementia can feel. If I can ever give just one moment of my day to understand and assist someone then that day will have been worthwhile. Thank you Wendy 🤗🌻

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My late mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early seventies . It would have been so helpful for us ( my dad and my siblings) if we had read your book then and had been able to understand her condition better . Thank you for writing your story . It had been bittersweet. Long after mum forgot who we were , when we saw her she would always smile and the one word she could utter was “ beautiful”. A sign, I believe, that she knew we were connected !

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gosh how clever you are Wendy , so techie !!! Is that how you spell it !!! Lovely to watch again , many thanks. Big hug my friend , we never forget our time together xxxx. Veronica and christopher

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you Wendy, I hadn’t seen these clips before. You, Keith and Christopher are so generous and brave to allow us to peep into your lives and to help us understand this cruel disease. I am humbled and full of admiration for you three and for Veronica.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you so very much for sharing your stories which have helped me to understand and learn about this terrible illness. I am full of admiration for you all and feel very humble listening to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Wendy. I am yet to look at your videos. Will do soon. Thank you for sharing. I just want to express how your dementia handcuffs you so much and hate that it has been worse of late. Hang in there as you are. Thank you so much for expressing how it really is.
    Out of the blue (after lots of tests) I have had a diagnosis of stenosis and am now lining up for a spinal operation. My friends are virtually wrapping me in a soft gold cloak. I share my cloak with you. Jill in Ballarat, Australia. 🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  7. HI Wendy, I believe it is possible on zoom for example for you or the organisation to record the event, Also not sure then who and how it can be replayed but I am sure someone will lead you in the right direction, of you want to experiment. I expect its tue on other platforms as well as may educational facilities are using it so live actions can be retained digitally for those in different time zones to use later.

    Mary R

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I’ve tried it Mary but it’s lacking the emotion as I’m just watching speech instead of ‘being’ there and typing as and when it happens but thanks for thinking of me 🤗


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