The end of Virtual cuppas…for now….

For the last 3 weeks, I’ve been holding “Virtual Cuppas with Wendy” twice a week.

 It’s weird, as I love doing them, really do love just meeting people I’ve only known by a Twitter handle or a name that’s floated around on social media, but it’s also become very stressful in an unexpected sort of way…

The first couple were no problem, it was new, a new adventure. A new way to keep connected in this strange world…a different sudoku….

But as time went on the stress began to take hold. Different people began helping me and it’s that inconsistency that also became stressful, not knowing who will be there with me and not knowing who will be joining…having different people…I know that must sound strange…but it began to be overwhelming….

Innovations in Dementia have been wonderful in supporting me and I didn’t expect the same people to be free each week, but I also didn’t expect the inconsistency to affect me in the way it did….making me feel anxious when logging onto a new session…

The stress of not wanting to miss out playmates as ‘guest playmate’ was also on my mind – not wanting to offend people….Zoom is also, simply, exhausting…having to concentrate so hard at listening. At the end I close my eyes and let the mish mash in my head settle again.

I can’t type and zoom at the same time so all these magic moments have been lost to me. It was suggested I listen to the recording and write afterwards and I did try, but it sadly didn’t work. There was none of the ‘in the moment’ atmosphere and feeling. I was just listening to words, so would simply be typing words without the feeling….again strange and unexpected. So all these moments will be lost through not having a blog, but they were still wonderful at the time even though I have no recollection of the detail.

We’re all having to adapt and change the way we do things and we’re all, I expect, learning new things about ourselves. So now I’ll now have to adapt again and find something else to fill my time, to keep my brain working..

My last session will almost be over by the time this blog gets released. This weeks have been on Finding Time for yourself and Discovering Technology. Technology is the one golden light in all this chaos, enabling many of us to keep in touch…I’m so grateful that I didn’t have to learn it now…

I can’t thank Innovations enough for suggesting it to me. I really have loved doing them and wish I could do more as it’s been a lovely little adventure and can’t thank them enough for enabling me to do it, but I think I need a break for now. Who knows, in a few weeks or even sooner, maybe I’ll come back and humbly ask them again for help…..

as my lovely playmate Agnes said in Tuesdays session….:

I’ve gone from being a ‘Human doer’ into a ‘Human Being’…..

Think I might need to ‘be’ for a while…..

So thank you to everyone who joined me, I can’t tell you how much I appreciated your company…

In the meantime, I’ll take a back seat and just listen and chip in to the ones I do join….I announced on our recent Dementia Diaries zoom get together that I was going to restrict myself to 1 a day….but as my lovely playmate Ron said, “Instead you need to say, ‘Today I will do only one’, as tomorrow you might feel different……”…quite right…

There’s a lovely one coming up next week with 2 of my lovely adorable playmates, Dory and Frances, doing a double act.

In session one Dory and Frances will do a live portrait drawing session of each other. It will be up to us to decide who is the experienced artist ….You will also be invited to bring along your paints, crayons and paper to join in….!

So fun and laughter can be guaranteed…..and I’ll have my crayons at the ready 😂🤣😂

You can take a look here….




About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

20 thoughts on “The end of Virtual cuppas…for now….

  1. I do understand Wendy. I think everyone is feeling somewhat “dislocated” because of the “lock down”. I can relate to those feelings you have, I have them too and I do not have dementia. What I find with you though, is that you are very good at identifying what works for you and what does not and then applying it! Brilliant!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. There is no “right way” Wendy, just do what you need to do. You are certainly exceptionally switched on to what works. Thanks for keeping us all updated. You always brighten my day and remind me that there are many paths to get to your destination. Sending love xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are so inspirational! I read your book a while back and dip into your blogs. My mum Mim has dementia she is 88 and in a lovely care home. She was diagnosed in 2016. I haven’t seen her for 3 weeks but keep in touch via Zoom which I’ve had to learn!! Facebook and phone calls…I miss her terribly and worry that she won’t know me and her dementia will suddenly slide as I visited her every other day and we did lots of different activities. You have kept me positive dice I read your book and also now..many many thanks Jude xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I find Zoom hard. There are lots of parts to it, lots of distractions. Also my Wi-Fi is not very strong so it’s hard to keep a steady connection. In general, throughout my life I have always done best with groups or parties when I am not the host. I worry so much about everyone enjoying things that I don’t, and end up exhausted. Good to take a break when you realize you’re overwhelmed. Zoom will still be there if and when you’re ready for it again. Cheers, Wendy!

    Liked by 1 person

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