My inability to choose the right house, but I love it…..

I was looking through the apps on my iPad yesterday and suddenly saw one for my Home Insurance… got me wondering how long I’d actually been in my village house….it must be more than a year, I thought to myself, but couldn’t work out how long. So I had to fo some digging amongst paperwork to find out…turns out ivebeen here almost 4 years to the day…😳😳😱😱😳😳😱😱…how can that be? Sometimes it feels like I’ve been here forever, other times, like I moved in yesterday…….how weird to think it’s 4 years…that totally shocked me and I had to check other paperwork to make sure it was true!

Anyway, the reason for typing this was when I looked around my house yesterday and realised how totally inappropriate a choice it was for me when I did move here….as I stopped to draw breathe at the top of the stairs 🙄

and looked out onto my garden that needed tidying…again…..

But would I change it and move again…?…..well I never say never any more, but I very much doubt it.

I’d spent my life loving the opportunity to move to a new house. The new adventure of discovering a new area, a new house to make my own, all the work needing to be done and doing most myself. I adored that part. But when I chose this house, me and my daughters just didn’t realise I just wasn’t capable of making the right choice. Dementia had already taken that logical ability away from me….we just didn’t know it at the time..

I clearly remember standing in front of the big picture window in the living room, staring out at the view, and saying, “I love it, this is perfect’. I doubt whether I’d taken any notice of the rest of the house. The 3 bedrooms I didn’t need, the gardens I certainly didn’t need, the steps I would trip up and down outside. So much was wrong, yet that one view sold it to me.

I live upstairs when I’m there during the day and chose the room at the front as my room. I could have chosen the bigger room at the back with the fitted wardrobes  but the one at the front has the same view as the living room, only higher, so what’s not to like….?

I had to move to a cheaper area to pay off my mortgage. It was an expensive village so I had to choose the cheapest house in a beautiful village. I was lucky and had enough money to pay for the path at the front to be widened. I was continually making eye contact with the garden at each side as I wobbled over, so it had to be done. But the workmen put tramlines either side for me to follow so I don’t think I’ve fallen in since….🤔 well I did keep tripping up the steps so I just painted luminous yellow stripes down each, so they help now…..mmmm looking at this piccie, they need a refresh me thinks…

I couldn’t see the grab rail up the stairs as it was pure white and blended into the walls, so I stuck some blue electric tape at regular intervals and had another grab rail fitted the other side, so I use both to climb the stairs now and just accept that I’ll be puffed when I reach the top…

And the big spare room is my memory room where the walls are covered with photos and boxes of memories to calm me on a bad day

The small spare room an office that I don’t really need…

But we are where we are. The thought of the trauma of moving and getting use to somewhere new means it’s no longer an option, so we adapt as the challenges appear….

I could easily live in a one bedroom house, all on one level…..the ideal….but I don’t. Sometimes we make bad choices in life without realising it at the time. It’s how you deal with those bad choices that turn it into a success……..or a manageable success…….and how could I move from my view or my village……especially on such a lovely sunny autumn day…




About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

9 thoughts on “My inability to choose the right house, but I love it…..

  1. Dear Wendy! I read your book, so I know about your move to the house in the village and it sounded as such a lovely place! My own move was done the opposite way – from a lovely big house with a big garden to an easy-to-maintain flat with a tiny little garden spot outside. No, I don’t live with dementia, but I have a benign brain tumour that makes me forget things… so I can relate in some way, anyway. Loved your book, and wish you all the best! Greetings from Sr. Carina, Sweden.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I moved into my current home pre-diagnosis. I was moving back to my hometown, far away from my daughter’s, who were living independent lives and seeking not to need me. Maybe I could reconnect with wider family. They decided they did not need me. The years have been tough since diagnosis, but if I had remained near to my eldest daughter, I would have joined a local young onset group and remained passive, activities arranged for me. As it happened my hometown had none, so I was forced to become pro-active and so started my own. Thus began my 3rd career as an activist. Sometimes apparent wrong decisions can lead to the best results. Your home looks wonderful, however accidental the decision 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love that you made your decision based on your view, as I did the same. Thankfully, I had already decided that I needed to move to somewhere without stairs, which prompted me to be looking at my particular unit in a retirement village anyway. My unit is quite large – too large for me really….but it does have the best water views. It is also right at the top of a very steep hill, which means that although I do very little driving nowadays, I do have to drive down the hill to catch the bus, none of which I thought about (because of the view), , There are steps that I could take as a short cut, but because of my poor depth perception I can’t use them. Like you, I was blinded by the view, but wouldn’t change it for the world. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you once again Wendy. Your words are so relevant to all of us. We moved into this house 17 years ago and hated it but finances meant we had to make do. Massive garden was one thing I didn’t need, not just massive but a garden that had been neglected to the point of not being a garden. However, it has been the making of me, it has been both a burden and a solace. I share it with the birds, the frogs and the hedgehogs and occasionally a squirrel. I had bees nesting this summer too. It is indeed what we make of things. I admire you so much and thank you for writing your book.
    Barbara xx

    Liked by 1 person

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