My ability to type sometimes works against me….

A day in the life, adapting, Experiences

Being able to type and write often works against me as it gives people a warped perception of my life…..It seems to make them forget the struggles I have but I’ll keep writing for as long as I can and nice to be asked to write for the Observer for World Alzheimers month…..I can’t help being a glass half full person but often face criticism for it….but their problem not mine…it doesn’t stop it wearing me down though especially if I’m not having a good day.

Maybe in it’s own way, this is a gift from dementia…to enable me to communicate in a way I never could, solely through word of mouth…as I’ve said before, I’m often mesmerised by my fingers typing and astounded at the sentences they produce.

But the inevitable criticism this brings is so hurtful……why can’t people be pleased for fellow human beings who have found a way to outwit the challenges of life and in particular, in my case, dementia? I find criticism and doubt very strange. But that’s the human race for you……

Simply because we CAN creates criticism, doubt and questioning…..if we focused on the CAN’T then we’d be fitting with the sterotypical image and the critics would be happier……🙄 I could write a a long list of what I can’t do but why should I? It would depress me to be constantly reminded of the losses. If professionals concentrated on the ‘CAN’ from the start, our lives would be so much more hopeful from point of being diagnosis.

Professionals often see people in the later stages and so find it difficult to understand people in the early stages. Many misjudge us through lack of knowledge. Families often focus on the late stages, which undoubtedly are difficult, but forget their loved one would have had an early and mid stage. They may not have registered or got a diagnosis until the late stages so find it difficult to understand how I can manage to function…..

Anyway, for those that havn’t seen it and maybe interested, here’s the article I wrote for them…

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/14/facing-life-with-dementia-and-discovering-a-positive-path

 

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

39 thoughts on “My ability to type sometimes works against me….”

    2. Dear Wendy, how typing taps into such a creative part of you really is beyond amazing, like a golden string you connect to. It’s lovely and plenty of us get you, and those who don’t, their loss; Don’t let them take anything away from you. Have a lovely day Wendy.

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  3. Wendy, I’m saddened to realise you receive criticism & doubt. I read everything I can of yours & enjoy it too. It only takes careful reading to realise that you face many challenges too. I always wanted you to explain how you cope when you can’t sleep at night? I haven’t dementia but I find you incredibly inspiring. When I’m nervous to attempt something I think “WWWD?” What would Wendy do? Thank you so much for all your stories & I love the image of you & Billy sitting side by side looking out into the world.

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  4. Just read the newspaper article – brilliantly written as ever. In particular I LOVE the final paragraph – Dementia may be terminal, but then so is life. What a line and what a message. How right you are that we should all be living life to the full and enjoying the moment, whether we have dementia or not. xx

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  5. My wife has been following your blog for quite a while, and she relays to me updates about the things you write. I am so inspired by this post – and I wholeheartedly agree that it is important to champion and cherish the things we can do – triumph over difficulty is much more important than finding all the reasons not to try. Thanks so much for sharing your life and your insights. I wish you all the best and look forward to hearing more from or about you.

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  6. I had missed this article, Wendy; it’s beautifully written as usual. Your attitude, your campaigning and your written eloquence continues to be a force to be reckoned with. ThanK you 🤗

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  7. As my mom’s dementia worsened over years, I noticed that she was able to maintain and engage in phone conversations much better than face to face. I lived a distance away and did not see her often. I suspect that partly she recognized my voice as me, but when she’d see me, though she knew I was a relative, I don’t think that she knew which one, or maybe had trouble reconciling her mind’s eye view of A younger me with the late 50s – early 60s me in front of her. She just didn’t talk much face to face, but on the phone was always so much better. (She had been someone who could and would talk on one phone call for an hour or more and then call someone else, even when she was active and working.). The difference between face to face and phone was so vast – sometimes I thought when visiting that I should go out in the hall and call her in her room on my cell, and then walk in to see if we could then pick up the conversation face to face, once started in the phone.

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  9. Hi Wendy – you have mentioned in a few of your blogs that you have received criticisms that have been hurtful to you. You have alluded to such criticisms but not detailed them. The impression left is that they reference your continued abilities to function in ways which a person diagnozed with early onset alzheimer’s would seem doubtful to be able to accomplish. In other words that your failed deterioration and your high profile in an area in which you are trying to help others would assume you are a fraud. If this is your experience you should details those criticisms so other readers of your blog who are grateful for your insights and straightfowardness can come to your support.

    Thank you for your daily blog is it helpful and inspiring to others stepping into your world.

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  10. Just read the Guardian article, as always your honesty and ability to express your situation provides food for thought. I saw the performance of Still Alice at the Playhouse in Leeds – it was an exceptional piece of theatre.

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  11. I’m sad to hear that you get criticism, because I feel you’re a great inspiration to people with Dementia and others. I have told lots of people about how you record your blog, about all the ideas you told us about in your amazing book, and I now wear a forget-me-not badge on my handbag.

    I think we have to ignore the critics.

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  13. yes the double standard of stereotyping by those who do not or do not try to comprehend is similar for those who are blind, in that some will be legally blind and face huge difficulty getting around but can read print for a while in a small area of vision, OR can’t see their hand in front of their face but can by day get around unknown environment,s because their peripheral vision is Ok ish by day, but pouring a cuppa could be difficult. Some will say why should we have to explain to every Tom Dick and Harry, but if that is not done the stereotye continues and people get dragged across roads they didn’t want to be on the other side of, then left to fend for themselves. By explaining as you do Wendy to those involved in care or training other trainers and so forth is a cool way of getting realisation across that dementia has to start somewhere, but that folk need to be made aware of likely supports and new ways when they can incorporate them long before the middle or an end.

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  14. Wendy, ignore these imbecilic people who critize you. I have read almost all your blogs and marvel and admire how you cope with adversity. I am old, but fortunately keep good health and i would not have the courage to do all you accomplish. You are an amazing example to us all and long may you continue to do so. Wonder Woman Wendy..what a superb example of all that is good.

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  16. I am a day behind in reading this blog. So glad that all the previous responses coming to your defense, Wendy. Your compassion and thoughtfulness for others is beyond what most of us manage. You recognise that not everyone can achieve all you do and that we are all different in what we can manage. Thank goodness that you are a glass half-full person. What motivates those who criticise?

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  17. Wendy, I am full of admiration for the way that you live your life and cope with all the difficulties that come your way. Those who criticise are not worth worrying about, they are obviously very ignorant people. Don’t let them hurt you, carry on being the inspirational and courageous woman that you are.

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  18. Wendy the article was great.
    I read the comments. I was going to comment but it would just be an angry rant. You can’t educate some closed minds. Even back in 2006 mum was getting comments about how she looked too well to have dementia. Was too articulate and “my relative couldn’t do that”. A lady (living as best she could with dementia) in Europe was told at a conference that she was keynote speaker, by a doctor, that he would not have diagnosed her “as she could walk and talk. There are many people all over the world campaigning, getting the same grief if you can campaign you can’t have “proper” dementia. In my opinion, it is like telling some with cancer that they don’t have proper cancer if they did not die from it. Someone I knew was told that, by some relatives, unbelievable. Also if you live beyond your diagnosis ie not decline at an acceptable rate, you feel your diagnosis is questioned by some. Keep up the good work. If you only know one person with dementia etc plus that is what early diagnosis is supposed to do, give you time to use it as you see fit. All the best. Sorry for the ramble but I knew when I read the article, you were going to get issues from some ignorant people.

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  19. You are such an inspirational lady. I’m so grateful that you are walking us, those, not (yet) afflicted by the disease to understand that it might be possible to cope.

    I personally wonder if those criticising you are not terrified that they are going to get dementia and can’t face the fact.

    I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia with fog brain, and yet, I look healthy, vibrant even (thanks to supplements to keep me moving!) People can’t understand when I have a bad day that I’m not just making it up. Or if my ability to string a sentence together happens, that I’m not making it up.

    Thank you and may you be blessed to continue writing for us to learn more from you.

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  20. Pingback: In the Blogs – September 2019 – When The Fog Lifts

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