After yesterdays’s contentious blog, I thought a reblog of this one fitted in quite nicely. There’s a fine line with dementia, between being the person I want to be, as I am now, and going over the edge into someone I wouldn’t want to be – whether happy or not…..this blog was written for the eventuality of being unaware that I’ve fallen over that cliff edge…….not somewhere I want to be but with this cruel dementia you just never know when it will take hold and win……..
I found a list written by a young girl on the thepurpleelephant.org web site. She wrote her top 16 messages to her family. She wanted to make sure that her family hang up her wish list wherever she ended up living should she develop dementia…..
I’ve redone it and narrowed it down to my top ten…………
• I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it. It’s the world I’m in, you need to join me.
• I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am. Don’t surround me with fake images of the seaside – take me there to feel the sea air on my face.
• I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to do all these things.
• If I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
• Treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
• Don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
• Don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live but please still visit me and make sure they have WiFi to FaceTime me!
• Don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
• Know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
• Remember that I am still the person you know and love.
I’d be quite happy to have this list on my wall…….