This time dementia might just have beaten me……

I’m always saying, ‘Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost’………but this time dementia has found something to beat me with by taking away my love of a cuppa tea…….I say, ‘dementia’ is responsible because I’ve got no one else to blame it on at the mo. It might be totally unrelated, but dementia is a good starting point for me.

It started a few weeks ago, when tea suddenly began to taste funny. I thought it was a blip and expected normality to resume very quickly. But as the days rolled on….and on…..and on……it became apparent that something was really amiss. It even tasted of the vegetable Swede on one occasion 😳…… It appears to be the milk that’s the problem. If I have it black, it’s palatable, not enjoyable but palatable.

I’ve been experimenting with all manner of alternatives, but none of them offer the same feeling as my cuppa tea……

I miss it’s company. Sounds strange I know. But when I’m sat on my own in silence I’ve always had a cuppa tea for company, now I feel totally alone. A cup of hot water is lacking in friendship. For once dementia, if that’s what it turns out to be, has caught me out and left me feeling sad. I can hear it’s cackling laughter as I’m sat there alone. A cuppa hot water or with a slice of lemon has taken it’s place. But it’s not the same. Just as food has become fuel, these replacements have simply become a necessity, not a joy.

As soon as playmate Agnes Houston told me the same had happened to her some years ago, I knew there was the likelihood that it was a permanent separation….

A strange thing to mourn over, you may think, but I really do miss my cuppa tea……….

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

51 thoughts on “This time dementia might just have beaten me……

  1. Same has happened to my husband, he has gone onto decaf coffee with a little sugar, or elderflower cordial is his favourite. Just about to make some fresh from the elder flowers I picked this morning.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I lost my taste for tea when I had cancer treatment. I found the loss pretty devastating too. I had to experiment with different drinks like you are doing and found Green Tea worked. It definitely isn’t the same as ‘proper’ tea but I did get used to it and still drink Green Tea. Maybe a period of adjustment rather than loss?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Once again, your are such an inspiration. I understand the importance of your cuppa tea, (I love saying “cuppa”.). If I couldn’t have my cuppa coffee every morning, I couldn’t get out of bed. Like you, it is a friend that helps with my loneliness. I guess keep experimenting to find something pleasurable to drink, or activity to fill that void. I’m with you….”Grieving for my Cuppas”!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel very sad for you, we all know how important tea is in your life. What on earth are you going to do with all those Yorkshire tea bags everyone has given you at meetings and events over the years?! Interestingly my dad also lost his taste for tea and can now only drink it without milk. Hope it does turn out to be a phase and in time you’ll regain your pleasure fromm drinking tea again. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have a friend who has also lost her taste for tea, in her case due to the after-effects of chemotherapy. She’d tried everything, then I gave her some of my favourite tea and bingo she found it delicious. It’s a loose-leaf tea called Blue Lady and is exclusive to Pollards of Yorkshire. I’d be delighted to send you some to try, if you’d be happy to send me your address to my email b.a.steel@sheffield.ac.uk. Or I could give it to Pat Sykes to give you when you’re here at the Uni of Sheffield conference on 24 June.

    Brenda x

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hi, Wendy…I mourn with you for your companion, milky tea. If milk is the problem…here in the U.S., we have many alternative milks.. such as soy, rice, almond,and oat milk. Also, milk for those who are lactose intolerant…i like goat milk which digests more easily. I hope you can find a way back to enjoying your cuppa. Wishing you well, always..Arlene

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The way I read or understand your post is either you literally miss your tea, or like me find things that are gone, nothing to replace it, but to morn the absence of it. Much love and kindness to you dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh Wendy. Just be sad. It’s okay. But gain solace from all the lives you are changing, with those who read your blog and who get inspiration from your indomitable nature that soldiers on, doing SUCH VALUABLE work. Your priceless work for dementia awareness is our
    ‘cuppa tea’. A hug and solace for you from across the pond.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Your entry today resonated for me. Your relationship to your cuppa is how I feel about coffee. I enjoy it so much! I can only imagine the loss you feel in addition to the other losses that dementia has made in your life. Thank you for your blog and your willingness to share your experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have been quietly following your posts. Read your book and loved it. As an American, I have been struck by how often you mention your cuppa. Makes me sad that you have lost that pleasure. Please keep up with the wonderful work you are doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Right now, in my house something similar has been happening with food in general. Pretty much everything I cook that we have eaten for years, someone doesn’t like. And the food he’s yearning for is the ethnic food he grew up with, which I’ve never learned to cook and which isn’t available to us where we live. So, you’re not alone. Have you tried all the different herbal teas?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. So sad to read this. I snapped up the last copy of your book at my local bookstore here in Ottawa, Canada a while ago and have been following your blog posts for some time. I am a recent convert to a kind of apple and cinnamon flavoured tea which has a mildly sweet and spicy taste. Does not need milk. Something like that might do the trick for you. I do hope that you find something which will be the equivalent of that precious cuppa in terms of warmth and comfort. Sending you long distance hugs – even though I have never met you I feel that I know you and care about what happens.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ah tea, an English woman’s answer to everything. I am so sorry that you no longer like it. Can you try it without milk but with a slice of lemon and perhaps a spoonful of honey? After my accident and TBI, everything tasted strange but eventually, tea took its rightful place in my life. I hope it does for you too. Hugs from across the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. So sad for you Wendy, and a blow for the sales of your Yorkshire Tea brand! Hope you get the taste back and if not, please persist with the hot water. I found many years ago the temperature of my “lovely cup of tea” (just the boiled water, no Yorkshire teabag – yes I too used that brand!?) is perhaps more important than the taste. Hot water can comfort, please persist the plain hot water and just call it “my cuppa” and enjoy the warm comfort!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. So sorry to hear about your loss of love for your famous “cuppa”.
    I can’t drink coffee anymore; it makes me sick!!!
    I haven’t found anything to take it’s place 😥 so I just drink water – boring!!!!
    Thank you for your inspiration. Three of my four remaining friends are living with Alzheimer’s, and live at a distance. Inspired by you I write to them every week! I just chat, as always. You’ve helped a lot. I now know the sort of things to write! X

    Liked by 1 person

  16. O no…how cruel Wendy.
    Putting the kettle on has always been the answer to so many of lifes problems.
    Somehow nothing ever seems so bad with a cuppa in hand.
    Love to you and yours. X

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Being Cuban coffee was always to me like breathing, I would have 2-3 cups in am before work, then heart doctor said “no more caffeine”, took a while to get used to decaf, tried many different brands of coffee. Then anxiety from early stage developed and I’ve switched to decaf tea. A few times I have tried decaf coffee and I cannot tolerate the taste, so yes, I understand you completely. I take my tea with a little cream and no sugar. Try different varieties, don’t give up, it has helped my morning anxiety so much. And I often think of you when drinking my tea. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hi Wendy so sorry to hear of your loss of taste for your Yorkshire Tea, I know you are trying alternatives. I can’t take tea with milk so came late to the joy of tea, I love Earl Grey with nothing. Lemon and Ginger or Apple and Cinnamon. If you have any herb bushes, Lemon Balm and Mint so good too. Mum Agnes has gone through the grieving for coffee and (gulp) red wine plus many foodstuffs that just simply tasting weird. Please continue the good work you do and take care of your fluid intake, whilst tea is not your current drink.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I totally feel for you Wendy. I have always been a big tea drinker. As a child the kettle was always on in our house. Tea seemed to cure all. When I was going through my breast cancer treatment, the taste of tea was vile, and what with a sore dry mouth too. It took many months to get back what I had once enjoyed. At that time I could only drink water and tried all sorts of drinks. I hope you either get your taste buds back for tea or that you can find some alternative drink to satisfy you. Much love and hugs to you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Not a strange thing to mourn over at all! My mum, my sister and I have always started and ended our day with a cuppa and a McVities digestive biscuit. So, I’m feeling for you hugely. Enjoyed reading the replies to your blog. Hope they perked you up. You remain such a wonderful inspiration Wendy. Thank you for your blogs….your tweets….your smiling face….your honesty. Hope you find a tea replacement! Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Tea and McViie’s digestives start and end my day in this far flung orner of the world. And yes, Mcviie’s are so much better than the locally produced brand. They remind me of home and my Mum.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I can quite see this as something to mourn, Wendy, and send sympathy and hugs. Neither of which will restore your beloved cuppa. I’ll add a dash of hope too – hope that it won’t be long before you find something that goes at least some way to replacing the Yorkshire stuff. x

    Liked by 2 people

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