I used to cook from fresh every day, even though I lived alone. I don’t remember ever having a relationship with convenience food, well maybe when the girls were little, when their favourite meal appeared to be waffles and fish fingers….😂🙄
Cooking and baking has always been a wonderful pastime, a delight and stress buster. I’d bake my own bread, concoct my own recipes and sit entranced by the latest food crazed programmes. My kitchen worktop, in my house back in York was lined with all manner of cookery books and I’d happily sit and wander through them.
Then dementia came into my life and like a jealous lover, soon eradicated that joy. I fought against it’s will for a time, but soon it won the battle, got what it wanted and now the books have gone, the cupboards no longer strain under the weight of baking products and exotic ingredients. There’s now plenty of cupboard space for nothing in particular.
The microwave now my best friend and occasional use of the oven if I can be bothered.
Food is now simply fuel. The joy of creation a distant memory. I don’t feel hunger as I use to. I’ll wander round the supermarket looking for something to take my fancy. Where once the trolley would be stacked with irresistable goodies, now is often left abandoned as I leave empty handed.
Do I worry? Do I miss cooking? Miss the smell of my creative kitchen? No of course not. If food is simply fuel, then I eat in the evening to make sure I’ve eaten and that’s my routine. If you lose interest in something it doesn’t matter any more.
Gemma’s wonderful partner, Stuart, adores cooking and feeds me twice a week with his culinary magic and I enjoy seeing him delighting in the art I once loved. I talk about him in the podcast below.
So you see I’m never going to starve. Pick up food is simple to eat so if I’m home I’ll have a tea cake or cheese scone with butter to pick on in the afternoon. But it doesn’t make me feel faint or lack energy if I go the whole day without eating. If I’m at an event, there’s often food there to pick on and people have often been so kind as to make sure there’s a tuna sandwich for me, so I’ll eat that.
But I now eat for a different reason. Food is simply fuel. Occasionally I’ll feel that once familiar emptiness and think, ‘Ooo am I hungry?’ But then have a cuppa tea which eradicates that feeling so maybe I’m just thirsty.
So that immediately brought to mind my love of a cuppa tea………well that still thankfully has to be in abundance………when the time comes to let me go, refuse me those antibiotics, and just set up a drip with Yorkshire tea and I’ll die a happy bunny………
And so to the reason for the blog. The ‘Delicious’ Food magazine have a monthly podcast and I feature in the May edition.
Gilly Smith interviewed me at Bloomsburys, can’t remember when but in the podcast she described my book as, “Astonishing story of attitude’ 😂 I like that. You can listen to it here. I’m about half way through but the whole 30 mins is an easy listen.
To read more about how my love of food has changed, I was asked to write a piece on food for the Observer Food Monthly will be running on June 16th……..