A few days in Paradise…….

I needed a break. Some silence away from everyday activity and what better place to find this solitude than in my idea of paradise, Keswick, in the Lake District.

It takes me hours to get there, my usual B&B has many steps to climb to the front door, but when I enter that door, the welcome I get is like having a permanent hug around you. I needed that hug last week as it wasn’t the best of times.

I’m sure I must have said before how my sleep is rubbish. Well it had improved lately due to a change in medication, nothing to write home about, an hour extra rising from 2-3 hours to 3-4 hrs. However lately it’s plummeted again with the last few nights only being 1-2🤯 That I can cope with, but it’s the strange night time dreams that are harder to accept.

They are not weird dreams, not nightmares, but those which when you wake, are hard to decipher fact from fiction…on a couple of mornings I’ve almost txt people to see what was true but decided they might be asleep 🙄

When most people sleep, their eyelids are closed but their eyeballs are asleep. For me, I never open my eyelids as they are exhausted but my eyeballs are wide awake. Most people may think it’s impossible to survive on so little sleep, and normally I’d agree. But it seems to be related to my dementia. I’m allowed to survive due to the dementia – weird I know, but that’s how I see it.

On a few occasions it’s felt like I’m progressing in my sleep before it strikes in reality, almost given me a warning. It filled a bucket with all the facts then flipped it over as though making a sandcastle, but when the bucket was lifted everything jumbled, fact and fiction getting jumbled. My head feeling strange when I finally surfaced and opened my eyelids. Having to remain still trying to separate the confusion. It felt as though my brain changed down a gear on that morning……like I’d turned a corner and one I didn’t want to go down but one which is inevitable…..maybe this is my norm until the next step down…..

Anyway, that’s why I felt a few days in, Keswick, might be just the tonic, after all it’s been quite a chaotic few months and will be even more so in the next few months.

I arrived to find Keswick bathed in sunshine ❤️

I trundled to my usual B&B and Catherine immediately made me feel at home as she is from Burnley and has defected to the West, so a true northern character. I had my usual room. She’d even remembered the red pillowcase over the TV, the jug of fresh milk and oodles of tea bags. I sat in my usual spot with a cuppa tea and stared out at the beauty outside my window….

Once I was refreshed I trundled down to the lake. It was such a beautiful evening.

I ambled along to Friars Cragg to sit on my usual bench and take in the peace. Now this may sound weird to some, but each time I visit this spot a Robin always comes and says hello. It lands in front of me chirping away, How do I remember? Well it happened this time and brought that emotional connection back from previous visits. It may not be the same Robin, who knows, but one always appears and welcomes me back.

I strolled through town and out the other side to see if the lambs had been born yet…..sadly only one tiny black one was hiding behind the hedge so couldn’t get a piccie but all these mums were ready to pop.

Time to rest my weary legs as it had been a long day travelling. So picking up a tuna sarnie for supper I headed back to my B&B…

Day 2 involved a trundle on the bus through amazing scenery and stopped of at Grasmere in the hope of seeing the lambs, and I wasn’t disappointed ….

Followed by a boat trip back in Keswick and one last piccie of the day…

And finally a weary trundle back for my tuna sarnie

The final morning arrived and the sun shone bright urging me to stay longer but I’m at my max nights away and anxious to get home tomorrow. If I stay too long, the suitcase becomes my home and I get totally confused as to the whereabouts of everything when I get home.So I made the most of the last day in this glorious place.

I took a detour via the local shops and spent far more than I should on gifts for the girls and reminders for me. This meant I had to stop by my room again to drop off parcels🙄 before heading to Fitz park to take some piccies. The spring colours were amazing….

I then took the bus to Seatoller and back again along narrow windy roads and more beautiful scenery from the top of the bus. Ambled to Portiscale crossing the River Greta

and finally, back to Keswick for a last look at my favourite view from Friars Cragg where I watched a happy dog chasing the choppy waves. I met a lovely couple who had never been there before, stunned by it’s beauty and we chatted happily for a while before they left, but not before I took piccies of them and they took a piccie for me and the Robin came along once more to say goodbye…..

Me thinks this will be the next piccie I print and hang in my Memory Room – my favourite spot in my favourite place…..

The trouble with this cruel disease is if you stop ‘doing’, dementia takes hold, which is probably why I’ve had a rubbish week – because I havn’t been ‘doing’, I’ve been doing everyday things which isn’t enough to keep dementia at bay……but after a wonderful few days in heaven, and a busy week ahead, hopefully I’ll now be able to find my mojo and pick myself up again…..maybe…hopefully……..

I made a short 2 minute recording yesterday for Dementia Diaries  if fancy listening to me ramble…..


About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

11 thoughts on “A few days in Paradise…….

  1. It looks like a beautiful spot, Wendy. Hopefully the lovely break will help you to feel better and be able to move on with your normally hectic life.

    Was interested to hear what you had to say about sleep. I used to be a great sleeper, but am now very restless, and seem to spend the night in a half sleeping, half awake state. My dreams are vivid but confused and it feels like my brain is trying to sort out everything that happens during the day and make sense of it, but can’t quite get there!!!!

    Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad you have been able to get away and have time for you Wendy. We all need to recharge the batteries. It looks stunning and I do like the lakes too. Hope you are feel more refreshed xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Wendy, i read your post and listened to you. Since I follow you i learned a lot of dementia and of England too. I think jou are a good teacher. Be strong and blessings from Holland.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Chronic lack of sleep contributes to the escalation of dementia, unfortunately. The NHS are hopeless when it comes to prescribing sleeping meds. Maybe you should consider a private doctor like my husband with dementia does? He now gets 6 hours a night thanks to an Ambien prescription and is much happier and more lucid. Only private doctors will prescribe it in the UK. You can now afford a private doctor now as your book has sold so well.

    Please do not accept one hour’s sleep a night as the norm. It will be doing untold damage to your brain.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for sharing your lovely photos Wendy. Do hope your break has helped the return of your mojo. Dreams can leave you feeling grrrrr. Take care and love.xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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