Not bored, just stagnating……

Before I start todays blog, I’d just like to say how overwhelmed I’ve been after my blog yesterday. The support and love that has come my way so far has been phenomenal- thank you sooooooo much.

And so to todays’s very different blog!

Now the world is finally getting back to normal after Christmas I thought I’d try and explain why I hate that empty period so much…….

Most people would love the chance to simply sit and do what they want, relax and take it easy…….but for me, any prolonged periods like this are scary…..I never get bored but I feel myself stagnating….

Sitting and simply doing nothing becomes the norm and is wonderful …but soooo bad at the same time. How can something be so wonderful yet have such a negative impact ? But it comes with a warning sign, that dementia is cruelly seeping in and taking over. It’s so cruel as it lures you into a false sense of enjoyment.

Yes, sitting quietly is certainly good for the brain when all else around you becomes too much, too confusing. But to allow it to become the norm allows dementia to take over, to win the day.I often see and hear of people with dementia not wanting to get up, to move, to do anything. They’re happy to just lie, just sit.  I totally understand that, as over the Christmas break I became that person.

A few days are fine, challenging but fine….2 weeks really isn’t…..

I love just lying or sitting with my eyes closed. The lack of visual stimulation calms the brain and relaxes it. It becomes comfortable, feels safe. I can relax so much that I probably appear to be  asleep but my eyeballs are wide awake behind my sleeping eyelids….so much so I’ve probably been practising mindfulness before it even existed……

I’m sure many of you have experienced that long holiday from work and how hard it is to return? You eventually get into the routine again. The holiday becomes a distant memory. Well for us or certainly for me, it’s long lasting if I don’t do something about it.

Even on normal days, when I’m at home, I always make myself go out into town on the village bus, but even that routine went over the holiday period as the village bus didn’t run for days.

I always make myself get up by 07.30 and get straight in the shower as that’s one of the most difficult tasks of the day out of the way. But that became harder as there was nothing to spur me on, so I’d lie there with my eyes closed not wanting the peace disturbed, but that really isn’t me as I’m a morning person and always have been. I had to make myself get up as normal – really not me. I know many people like a lie in but I’ve never been one.

i find ‘routine’ one of the best ways to stop me getting confused with time,  not feeling discombobulated unnecessarily….

I know I’m so lucky in that I get asked to do lots of events, lots of talks and long may it last and I do have to work at keeping people wanting me. But even for me, the post christmas period left me fighting for normality to return before dementia settled my brain into that relaxing false sense of security …..of doing nothing, that lack of social stimulation..

I hope that makes sense…..I’m not saying, sitting and enjoying a moment is wrong or as a means of alleviating the fog; what I’m saying is, the danger lies when that enjoyment of sitting becomes the norm and the periods of nothingness are prolonged.

I know I’ve waffled saying all this but it was hard for me to explain.

So don’t let me stagnate, don’t tell me to take it easy…..encourage me to move, encourage me to do…..or maybe its too late for some……I don’t want to become just a shadow……not yet…..

P.s. …I even forgot how to catch a train yesterday…it was my first for weeks and I stood on the platform with everyone else but surprisingly was the only one who stuck their hand out to stop it…..just like I do with the village bus…..🙄🙈🤣😂🤣

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

28 thoughts on “Not bored, just stagnating……

  1. Your posts are so very helpful to me. My mom has dementia and I am just trying to understand a fraction of what she is going through. I think the inability for her to get up and moving and around is a huge issue and your explanation in the blog today is really helpful. I just got a copy of your book and it is on my table ready to be read. Thank you for being such a brave voice in this journey. You are incredible.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I, too, struggled with getting myself motivated post Christmas. I, too, live alone with my dementia. Only now am I beginning to get my brain in gear again. I look forward to meeting you again in York at the next DEEP meeting xx

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Your analysis is so useful. I am sure most of us don’t realise that danger of letting go for too long. So far you have maintained routine and activity whenever you can. Keep it up.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wendy, thank you for sharing your feelings/thoughts/behavior especially this one. Your ‘shadow’ picture at the end of your post expressed a true fear that many are fighting. It caused me to gasp and fight the tears from rolling down. I appreciate you so much.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. As always Wendy you are able to find words and thoughts that feed minds and lift spirits. I wish I could ‘waffle’ (your word in your blog!) as articulately as you! Your ‘blog’ causes me (and, I’m sure, others,) to reflect that ‘normal’ (dictionary definition: ‘conforming to or constituting a norm, rule or principle’!) has a very broad interpretation!

    I wonder how many amazing ‘un-normal’ people have discovered or unveiled positive life-enhancing changes in our world?! Far too many to count, I’m sure!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I know we use it as an “image” but you cannot have a shadow unless you are a) in the sun or playing shadow pictures inside) and unless you ARE, being a being! And some stations ARE requests stops, (but not York!!) xm(E)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for your post, Wendy. As a PLWD, I am 100% with you on the holidays-Christmas and summer break. I had more trouble with the holiday this year, which I guess is not unexpected, but have also been challenged with getting back into the routine. Such is life, eh? Take good care, Wendy.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You always just hit the button ! I sometimes wonder if I am making Christopher get up , get going and do stuff, but you show that it is right !!!!! All our love Veronica and Christopher

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wendy, you are SUCH a wonderful inspiration! Keep on keeping on! I totally agree with stagnation is not helpful and I applaud your for recognizing that!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. As a registered nurse I, along with my colleagues, are acutely aware of how our patients sit and do nothing for hours when in hospital. How I wish we had the luxury of enough staff to provide stimulating, interesting activities to occupy our patients living with dementia. My Trust has just employed an activities coordinator so hopefully things will improve for our patients. However, families, friends and loved ones – if visiting a person in hospital please ask staff if there is anything you can do to help alleviate the inactivity of their loved one. We have a wide range of games, puzzles, arts and craft activities, music, lovely gardens to sit in and a nearby supermarket cafe in walking distance to enjoy; just not the time to do it ourselves. You continue to inspire me Wendy to do better for my patients living with dementia. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I struggle with my mother to find something to do. Her activities include a couple of walks to the drugstore or grocery store during the week. That is it. Sh does crochet and play computer games when at home (which she is 95% of the time). She’s very independent but I worry about her mental health because she isolates herself.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree Wendy…she used to go to a senior centre when we lived two blocks from it but she will not take the bus alone and has not been back there since we moved. She says she doesn’t belong there because she doesn’t feel like a senior which is great but she has zero socialization.


  12. I agree. But I’m tenacious and will find something that will help her keep active, I hope. I tried to get her to read your blog Wendy but she says she won’t so I’ll keep reading it because it is inspiring.

    Liked by 2 people

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