Why I prefer to stand on stage alone and read…….

This combination of dementia and success is a very strange concept. The last thing you expect after being handed a diagnosis of dementia is success is a different way……
But I was fortunate to meet Anna Wharton, my lovely writing buddy. Without her help, patience and understanding, my book would never have materialised.

So with the success of the book has come many new opportunities, many new ventures. Book Festivals have become another ‘suduko’ in my armoury against dementia.

I have always loved the written word and since this wretched diagnosis, the written word has taken on a whole new meaning and importance. I’m sure I’ve said many times, that I can type far quicker than I can think and speak the words – the words I WANT to say, not just ramblings. When I type dementia is locked away behind bars, trying desperately to hinder the process but can’t just reach out enough to stop me.

I’ve been very lucky to have been invited to many book festivals, but I’ve realised there are three types.
Firstly where I speak alone and read extracts from my book
Secondly where I’m interviewed badly and ramblings come out of my mouth instead of the words I want to say because they havn’t understood the challenges being interviewed for someone with dementia, brings to the table.
Thirdly, where I’m interviewed by very clever people who have done their homework and know what words to feed me in order to get the sentences I want to say. These are all sentences I’ve said before either in my blog or on TV or radio, so they seem to be hidden away in my subconscious waiting to be released.

So which do I prefer? Well the latter two are rather hit and miss unless I know the person and feel safe in their hands. I’m on stage with Anna Wharton next Tuesday evening in Tunbridge Wells and feel totally at ease. When they go well, they go really well as many have. But the one I prefer is being alone on stage with my own words.

Sometimes when I try and just speak my brain can momentarily block, turning it into a disconnected hole of emptiness…the reason for talking, for being there, disappearing into a haze. That’s when the ramblings appear. They’re often still ok, but not quite the words I want to say.

So when I’m alone on stage, I have my words in front of me, typed by my unhindered dementia mind and exactly the points I want to make. I could never speak those words in the order they appear if I didn’t have them to hand. Yes, I could show the reality of my rambling self but that would seem like a waste of the time when I have a captured audience in front of me.

I want them to hear the important bits, the serious bits but also the funny side to dementia and I can only do that well if I’m left to my own devices…..

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

6 thoughts on “Why I prefer to stand on stage alone and read…….

  1. It was lovely to meet you yesterday at the Cheltenham Literature Festival. You are such a positive person and deserve to be widely read. I thought you interacted with your fellow panellist Jules Montague and interviewer Julia Wheeler so well. Thank you for coming.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.