August is my least favourite month of the year, when routine changes, my calendar goes quiet and I’m filled with dread of what dementia might do to me. But now September is here and I’m feeling much happier.
When I wrote about my dislike of this summer month I was overwhelmed by people’s offers to help, even from total strangers. But I didn’t write it because I wanted sympathy – I never want sympathy – I was just saying how it is.
It’s the disappearance of routine that is the hardest element. The lack of children walking to and from school to signal the time of day; the DJs on the radio going on holiday; my calendar lacking in its usual business. For me it’s a strange month as I come to love just sitting. I live upstairs during the day when I’m at home. Snuggly sat in my bed with my iPad and everything I need around me and the large window which looks out onto the tree tops offering a birds eye view of the world. But, as nice as that is, I can hear dementia laughing at me, rubbing its hands with glee at being given the opportunity to filter through the peace and settle down beside me………
I remember my lovely friend, Chris Roberts deciding he’d had enough and wanted to just sit and enjoy the silence. But it was his equally lovely wife Jayne, who insisted that giving up was not a good option for wither of them. As she said, ‘I’m not ready to sit at home with dementia’. So it was that Chris continued and I’m sure he has no regrets on doing as he was told on that occasion -ha!
We’re stuffed if we’re busy, as exhaustion takes over and we’re stuffed if we’re quiet as dementia is given an open door. We can’t win. But I know which I need to prefer – to be busy. The trouble is during August with the lack of business, I began to enjoy just sitting in silence….☹️
Looking at my blogs in previous years I stopped writing but I know better than to do that now and have been blogging all August too this year so thank you again to those who have taken the trouble to read them and for your kind comments. I simply daren’t stop writing now as not to be able to type would be the end for me.
Common sense would tell anyone that I needed to ease myself back into the busy world….. gently…….mmmm…..well I think common sense was absent recently as I turned the calendar over to September to find it stuffed full of lovely events and I only have a few empty days in the whole of month😳…..ooops🤓
So I might have a few wobbly days coming but that’s so much better than sitting handcuffed to dementia.. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
So thank you to those who helped me through August, especially my wonderful daughters who are always there for me and thank you also to my wonderful Twitter friends who have kept me company throughout this miserable month…….
So now to planning and writing talks again and some wonderful trundles lay ahead……..and of course, it’s the start of World Alzheimer’s Month…..