Night Time Ramblings…….

It’s often when my creativity is at its best – that half way point in the night when barely asleep and barely awake; that state between sleep and consciousness when thoughts and sentences are allowed free access and float around, unhindered by the natural thoughts of the day.

All of the above, I found written on post its notes one morning last week. I have a small post it note type pad beside my bed along with a pen. I often find a pile of these on my floor but have no recollection of having written them. But they’re always filled with wonderful sentences and deep thoughts from the night. I don’t sit up and write; I don’t even think I open my eyes; I must simply grab the pad and pen and write a few words on each page, before tearing off and letting it drop to the floor before writing a few more words.

The next morning, with no recollection,  I grab them all up off the floor and type out each one and then try to piece together the puzzle. Pages are sometimes still attached which makes the problem solving easier, but I’m often amazed at the words I’ve written.

While me and Anna were writing the book. She’d ask me a question and sometimes I’d give a rubbish reply but she’d wait until the morning and more often than not, my hands had written the profound answer in the night and I’d gain my brownie point for the day……😇

Tiny gems of thoughts uncovered in my sleep…

The trouble is my writing has gone to pot and sometimes my thoughts are illegible and gone forever. But trying to solve the thread of thought is another form of sudoku for my early morning brain.

It’s always an exciting exercise to see what my night time mind has been thinking.

Just like solving the genuine from false smile on a person. The answer lies in their eyes. A genuine person smiles with their eyes, a fake smiler has no twinkle………….

All the words in Italic were found on post its on the floor the other morning. I used to have post its by my bed when I worked. If I woke in the night with a thought about a task or a solution at work whittling away at my tired brain, I’d write it on a post it which would allow me to return to sleep.

Maybe now, thoughts are allowed a clear passage at night time but the routine of writing on a post it is still there……

For those who weren’t aware or hadn’t realised, the yellow on my book cover are post it notes escaping from my mind…..

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

10 thoughts on “Night Time Ramblings…….

  1. You are AMAZING!!!☺️☺️ Don’t take this the wrong way but compared to P you are so aware, articulate and insightful it is hard for me to recognise you as having the same diagnosis. To cut to the quick – our understanding of and therefore approach to ‘dementia ‘ still seems so inadequate. P is however happy, which is the main thing …. currently talking to the flowers which is rather lovely

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much Wendy, After reading your book I started following your blog. Every day you provide so much insight into how “We ( my husband and I )” can live with Dementia, and positively make sense of the present, and our future.

    Liked by 1 person

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