Reading out loud versus Talking…….

Whenever I’m speaking at an event I always read from a speech I’ve prepared, otherwise goodness knows what I’d talk about and I’d be likely to go totally off piste.

People have said to me – ‘You read differently than you speak’…….that’s so true. I’m accompanied by this alien childlike voice now when I’m simply in conversation…

My daughters have said ‘ It sounds like the old you when you’re reading’ – sad but very true. I find it comforting to hear the old me and can listen to me reading quite happily.

When did my voice change? I havn’t a scooby doo……it left without warning, like so many others things leave without you noticing……

Some people looked at me in horror when I said I’d recorded the American version of my book……..but they’d not heard me read.
I’ve always said I can type as though dementia never entered my world. I can type words quicker than I can think and speak them, so the same seems to apply to reading…….

Someone else contacted me to say their voice had also changed and it was a comfort for both of us knowing we weren’t alone.

And the reason for this? Or at least my very logical theory behind all this…….

When I’m reading words, I’m cutting out the middle man. I’m not having to think of the words as they’re there in front of me already. So the exhaustive process of thinking of new words and new sentences to construct doesn’t exist. I’m simply reading.

People ask me, ‘but when you’re live on TV or radio you come out with answers’ .
Yes I do, but for those who have seen me time and time again, they will have noticed, that I come out with the same answers, the same stories. They’re filed away and a key word that a journalist throws at me, opens up the right drawer in my brain and out pops the answer. Sadly though, the alien voice speaks these….

Someone recently said to me how they’d heard many of the sentences I’d given when they heard me interviewed on stage, before, either on my blog or having said them before. It’s almost like a stockpile of responses…..

I’m sometimes really surprised on what comes out of my mouth as the standard replies often comes without me thinking, but because they’re not written they come out in this alien voice that accompanies me now

That’s why I stumble on new questions. That’s why I always ask what’s going to be asked – to make sure no new words need to be written on my ipad to read and some somehow become installed in my hard drive……..

The brain is a very complex bit of kit. Dementia throws curved balls to try to make you stumble and fall. I try to do everything possible to make sure I remain standing……

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

8 thoughts on “Reading out loud versus Talking…….

  1. Hi Wendy
    I totally agree with you. I spoke to people with dementia and carers last Saturday at Meole Brace Church. I wrote what I wanted to say down and talked far better. Not remembering doesn’t mean we cannot plan first what we want to say. I finished with Psalm 23. It went well. I cannot rush anymore but does that matter. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  2. As always, your observations are fascinating. Our brains are so complex & we don’t realise all the clever calculations & manoeuvres that go into even our most simple daily actions – until our brains go wrong. Parkinson’s make my handwriting slow & difficult but when I use the keyboard the words fly out, seemingly before I consciously think them. Whether it’s age or Parkinson’s, often when I’m talking I stumble or annoyingly forget names etc. On the keyboard my wits are miraculously restored. I do look forward to your daily reports & they inspire me to look for solutions to my challenges. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s probably a different part of the brain that processes reading aloud, as opposed to the part that speaks spontaneously. Chances are, the dementia hasn’t yet readed that part – and might not in the future.

    I’m currently reading your book and while I’m sad you have this condition, I am enjoying it for its beauty, and your strength and determination.

    As for what you say when speaking aloud, sounding like stock phrases – most people, even when healthy, do that more than they realise. I think we all have some sort of ‘script’ that, by the time we’re adults, we’ve pretty much got set within us: it’s a failsafe.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You will always stand tall and courageous. You have begun a revolution of people curious to learn about the subjects of Alzheimers and dementia. Many for themselves and prepare through your wisdom, for any signs in themselves. More people will call for a cure as it is not considered ‘inevitable’ that anyone will naturally develop either or both conditions. If someone shows signs of it you took the torch and showed them how to make their lives easier.

    Your message, self-insight, and sharing of your life and learning will spread from one person to another, then two people to two others. You opened a Pandora’s Box of a reality for those afflicted and others who ignored what did not affect their lives until you brought it kicking and screaming into the bright light for the eyes of the world.

    With all the time and grand effort, you have made by dedicating your time for this wonderful project I am amazed that you keep up. Physically I mean, I know you have tricks of the trade for getting by daily and more complicated times but the weight on anyone’s shoulder’s to do as you do with meetings, public talks, a book, and the work to make these things come together and work makes you officially a superhero in my mind.

    Wendy Dalton

    Liked by 1 person

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