Over to my daughter today….

The Alzheimer’s Society recently asked me to write a guest blog recently but also my daughter Sarah wrote one – a daughters perspective on support. So today, I thought I’d share the link, because we always say that when we get a diagnosis of dementia, our family and friends get the same diagnosis, and need equal amounts of support, advice and education…..

https://blog.alzheimers.org.uk/personal-stories/wendys-story-part-three/

 

About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

16 thoughts on “Over to my daughter today….

  1. Much the same for stroke, families ghave it tough, particularly since they’re out of the spotlight. Whatever help there is out there (precious little) all seems to be directed solely at the survivor.

    Your daughter’s right about learning to stand back though. Ultimately you need to leave someone to their own devices, and let the chips fall where they may. I have a lovely wife, but felt I was being smothered to the point of resentment.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Sarah and Wendy,

    Thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who has a loved one with a diagnosis of dementia. Like yourself it is not easy taking a step back wanting to help my Dad with things and have never wanted to take over. In the early stages, he was reluctant to ask for help as wanted to retain his independence. Myself and my Mum still try to let him work things out for himself, but sadly he has now lost most of his independence, so more often than not, he now asks for help, when once he used to get angry with us wanting to help him as he has always been in control of things. I think one word sums up my Dad’s, mine and my Mum’s feelings and that is one of ‘frustration.’ He gets frustrated at not doing everyday tasks which were once automatic and for which most people take for granted and then we in turn get frustrated with him, as at times it is just so difficult to see a loved one struggle, who was once so capable. We keep on reminding ourselves it is not his fought and that it is the disease, and try to be patient, as realise it must be even more frustrating for the person with dementia not being able to do certain things.

    That is great that you talk openly about the disease and how it affects you both. My Dad doesn’t talk to us at all so we can only guess what he is going through. If we understood more about what he is going through and how it affects him we could be more understanding and be there for him more. Though it has always been his personality to keep things to himself.

    Once again thank you for sharing Sarah and a nice rest day for yourself Wendy from not writing the blog.

    Martin x

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Wendy, I just finished reading your book which I found so compulsive, I just couldn’t put it down. Brilliantly written and very thought provoking! My Mam is living with dementia and your book has helped me understand this disease and how it affects people which in turn will help me help my Mam. I felt so many things reading your book ranging from absolute admiration for the courage and bravery you show to laughter at your dry sense of humour to anger at the way you have been treated at times. It has made be more aware not just with my own mother but now when I am out and about if I see anyone who may seem a little confused I will go up to them with a friendly smile and ask if there is anything I can do to help. Thank you for doing what you do, keep fighting dementia and although you don’t know me I shall be thinking of you with the warmest of thoughts. Julie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Wendy,
    I heard pieces from your book on Radio Four and I can’t wait to buy your book. Your story is one of the most inspiring I have ever heard. Thank you for your openness. I walk with you in my heart and prayer.

    Liked by 1 person

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