Good days, bad days

Since the age of 39, I’ve always considered myself a ‘level mooded’ person. Why 39, you may ask?  Goodness knows, but when I hit 39 everything in my world seemed fine and I’ve been content with my lot ever since.

We all have the odd hiccup which throws us off balance for a while but all in all the past 20 years have been me at my most content. I can hear my daughters saying, ‘but we’re in our 30’s, what about the other 10-15 years?! Well, obviously they were very good times as well, but being a single parent had it’s trials and tribulations……….ha!

So back to my point. I’ve never been one for extremes of happiness or sadness, but this last 6 months emotions have been heightened. I now seem to be on a continual roller coaster of emotions. The slightest things can make me really happy one minute and an equally small occurrence can leave me sad. I now know what it feels like to go on ‘The Big One’ at Blackpool without going anywhere near it!

Is it the Alzheimer’s, the medication, or the turmoil of the moment – probably a combination of all three. But I hope it’s the latter because then at least there’s hope of getting back my state of contentment. Also,I always had a pristine memory. I could recall names of people I’d only met once, drive somewhere a second time without direction, remember facts and figures with total recall……….

The saddest thing recently was having to set a reminder to wish my daughters ‘Happy Birthday’.

Maybe today my glass is half empty instead of the usual half full. Hopefully the roller coaster will start to climb again and tomorrow I’ll have forgotten all about today (another advantage of living with Alzheimer’s!).

My thoughtful seagull seems to be an appropriate picture to share today
My thoughtful seagull seems to be an appropriate picture for today

 

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About wendy7713

On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I've started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer's. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we've been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.

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